Panama is the most recent recipient of a monster report! The hairless and bloated monster with hooked claws discovered in Panama is being called: astounding, superb, incredible, and mostly a sloth. Three teens from Cerro Azul in Northern Panama reportedly spotted the creature sauntering along by a cave and were frightened by its approach. What the teens did next was understandable. What is the first logical thing to do when approached by a cute, bald, skinny creature which may be the greatest discovery in all cryptozoology history? Beat it to death with sticks, of course. In a sad display of delinquent angst, the teens attacked the creature with sticks and threw its corpse into a pool of water (to return later, of course with a camera to take pictures).
The story is that the adorable creature shown above (which looks remarkably like ET) made the kids fear for their lives and so they took autoritative action immediately to prevent what would likely have been another "Godzilla in Tokyo" situation for the helpless residents of Panama. I suppose we'll never really know what it was now, will we...
Most viewers and expert cryptozoologists say that the creature is no more than a sloth which somehow lost its fur (used too much nair?). The hooked claws on its hands and the body structure seem to support this claim. As punishment for their killing the cryptid, it is my decree that the teens should be forced to watch videos like this one all day long to make them feel like shit for the rest of eternity:
MY OPINION:
My opinion on this was probably clear throughout this post. It makes me sick when people abuse animals (especially ones which could have led to scientific discoveries). What was probably just a curious animal is now a rotting corpse because some teens were bored and had nothing better to do than kill a defenseless creature. And I don't believe a word about them being scared for their lives. Sloths are practically the slowest land mammal in existence (ie. you can outrun a sloth).
SOURCES:
popfi.com
telegraph.co.uk
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